Challenging myself to leave town for a few days psyched me out a bit. That tension provided energy to drive. Energy to visit people and drive more. Energy to visit family and drive more. Drive a lot more after that and stop at a remote cabin in North Idaho. Really North. Just a short walk to the Canada border.
No phone. No internet. Comfy enough with majestic wilds encircling the house.
After a few days, I had acquired a better sense of myself. I fell into a sort of nitch with me, myself and I. I turned my prayers inward. Simple prayers often repeated were turned around onto and into myself. It was a trippy change in my entire structure. It sounds so simple now but it has somehow changed everything.
Grateful for many wonderful hours sharing life with Linda. Drove longer stretches on the way back. Did not stop to visit along the way. Did stop for lunch and bought a bowling ball at a little thrift store in Bingen.
Arrived back in the middle of the night so the next day made sense for feeling a little drained. Got all done I needed to be done but felt so tired all day long, even after a nap.
The second day I felt a little drained. Got all done I needed to be done but felt so tired all day long, even after a nap.
The third day now and I am starting to catch a glimpse of what is really going on with me. I have no motivation. I am not tired, I am not motivated.
I think the reason I am not motivated is that I am not doing something I really want to do.
Is it possibly nothing?
zenflirt 